A paper written by Philip Harvey for Bloomsday in Melbourne, 16 th of June 2023 and read at the annual seminar upstairs at the Imperial Hotel, corner Bourke and Spring Streets in Melbourne, on Sunday the 18 th of June. Foreword Who killed James Joyce? I, said the commentator, I killed James Joyce For my graduation. What weapon was used To slay mighty Ulysses? The weapon that was used Was a Harvard thesis. How did you bury Joyce? In a broadcast Symposium. That's how we buried Joyce To a tuneful encomium. Who carried the coffin out? Six Dublin codgers Led into Langham Place By W.R. Rodgers. Who said the burial prayers? — Please do not hurt me — Joyce was no Protestant, Surely not Bertie? Who killed Finnegan? I, said a Yale-man, I was the man who made The corpse for the wake man. And did you get high marks, The Ph.D.? I got the B.Litt. And my master's degree. Did you get money For your Joycean knowledge? I got a scholarship ...